I'm eating all of the evidence.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
