theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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