Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
