Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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