Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
