bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
