I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
