well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
