I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
