So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
its not stalking. its research.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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