i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
