we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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