He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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