I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
