He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
