i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
