who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
