Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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