i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize