i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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