my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
