How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
