your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
he fucked my hip out of place.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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