okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Even my vagina gasped.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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