When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
