I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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