I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
