After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I don't think brook has ever known best
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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