Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
