he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
