ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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