I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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