Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
