Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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