This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize