i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
