I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize