make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
