just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
