nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
