Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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