South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize