do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I need moral support for this bender
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
