if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
