I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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