So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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