Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Randomize
