In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
There are leaves in my underwear?
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