My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
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