so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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