2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
