I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
