I got chris browned last night
My balls are so social today.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Randomize
