Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
