my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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