I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
