this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
