Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
