I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
