i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize