I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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