actually, I'm a sock model
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
