Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
