The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
