the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
