i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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