can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
