Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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