yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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