You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
