I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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