New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
