I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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