This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
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